Car Door Dick Smash - George Foreman Cock Crusher

Late at night drunk as shit after the show
No money left, can't afford to eat on the road
Shed my sweaty clothing - time to sandwich with skill
Mayo, bread, ham and cheese - into my Foreman Grill

Preheat the griddle as I reach for the whiskey
On top of my fridge, unopened full handle
My dick hits the heat, I recoil suddenly
Bottle landing on the grill clamping on my cock!

Rush to freeze my burning dong, I cram it in the ice box
Shut the fridge door on my stick, repeatedly
Panic as the skin breaks, due to the sudden temp change
Shriveled shredded burnt stump is all I have left

Lying on the cold hard tile
Tear in my eye but still I've yet to die
Uncork the whiskey as I will need this
Upend the bottle - I will drink to my dead dick