Mouth Of The South - Monologue

So here we are again
Miles apart because I'm stuck in this depression
That feels like possession
Because the progression of my transgressions
Led to an obsession with digression
So here is my confession

I don't grow I just regress
'Cause I've got this heart full of regret
And the pain keeps seeping in
Now my foundation is a mess
'Cause when I sit inside this house
It never feels like it's my home
I am crashing and I am sinking
And I don't wanna go down alone

So speak to me!
I'm sick of talking to these walls
Can You even hear me?

What if I said I don't believe in You?
Would we at least be making progress?
You said luke-warm and you would spit me out
Well I tried to be on fire
But these waves have snuffed me out

I'm washed up on this stage
Screaming at the heavens up above me
I'm weak and unashamed
'Cause I've got nothing left to lose
If this is what it takes to be alive
Then I'll scream until my heart is beating
I'm afraid to die
'Cause I know I'm so far away from You

It's not that I'm lost
It's just that I can't seem to find the strength to carry on
To carry on one more day
I know the way
It's been engraved in my head
But what was supposed to make me alive has left me feeling dead
You left me feeling dead

It's time to come clean so here is the honest truth
I've let my emotion take the place of You

Give it time, give it time
I've heard it all before
But I've been waiting for so long
Give me something more than an unbelieving heart
And malcontent
I'm desperate for the strength to say: "I was born for this"

When did emotion become my reality?
I've tried and I've tried to be the man that You made me to be
My flesh is weary and my spirit is dead
I've got so many questions
Get them out of my head

Where were You?
When my walls came crashing in?
Where were You?
When she walked away never to come back again?
Were You asleep?
When my heart turned to stone and sunk me into this sea?
Where were you?
God, where are you?
Take me back to when I was young. Take me back
I want to feel alive again
I want to love You like I once did