Epic Rap Battles Of History - Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2

[Prologue - EpicLLOYD:]
Hey can you put that, uh little thing back down in there?
No no no, the one below it

[Nice Peter:]
You're just a little up in my face right now

[EpicLLOYD:]
Oh, I'm sorry
Am I being annoying?
'Cause you said we'd be done at 10
And it's...4 in the morning

[Nice Peter:]
Look I don't know how to say this
But you know what, fuck it
Let me just fucking say it

[Verse 1 - Nice Peter:]
I'm fucking burnt out man, it's been six years every day
That I wake up and come to work to look at your hungover face
I need some personal space to get away from your screaming
But every time I turn my back motherfucker you start scheming
To take over control of some shit I'm already doing just fine
We'd have more subs than PewDiePie if you didn't fight me every time
I try to take our little baby in a creative direction
I'm trying to make art motherfucker, you're trying to find a rhyme for erection!
I'm sorry man - no I'm fucking not, fuck you!
You're second class, that's why I let you run ERB2
You're so afraid to lose, but losing's all you do
And tonight I'm not quitting the battles, bitch, I'm quitting you

[Verse 2 - EpicLLOYD:]
Quit me then you pussy, we'll see what happens
I'll sit back and watch you unravel and revel in pure satisfaction
I'm out of compassion for you and your self-righteous bullshit
Erection jokes dude? Your whole name means dick
I'm sick of smoothing things out, the same routine
ERB2 is right, I'm covering your ass behind the scenes
And then I try to tell you things, but you're too stubborn to understand
Like: "Dude, that is not a cool way to play Batman"
You manipulate your friends, and then you throw them away
I don't know who you shit on worse, myself or Dante
But I'm not an entrée at one of your fancy restaurants
So quit eating up my time picking one of your fancy fonts
And make a fucking decision so all these people can leave
Excuse me for interrupting Rocket League and smoking weed
They got places to be, and now they're looking at me
Nice Diva is my new name for you Nice Pete

[Verse 3 - Nice Peter:]
And doink! Nice punchline bro
Your jokes haven't grown since you told them in a lunch line bro
You're an eight-year-old boy stuck inside a whatever year old man
"Look at me I'm EpicLLOYD, check me out I can
Rap about my problems instead of solving them"
If you wanna heal you gotta deal with your issues cause a bottle's not stopping them

[Verse 4 - EpicLLOYD:]
Don't take this battle there dude, you don't want that at all
Let me guess, right now you're on two beers and a pill and a half of Adderall
And that makes you obsessive and then you fuck up all the fun
So why don't you trust the editors and stop changing their shit after they're done?!


[Verse 5 - Nice Peter:]
Yo don't try to paint me as some compulsive little jerk
If you weren't so cheap we could hire some editors that do good work
Who you think just-
Oh that's real funny Andrew

[EpicLLOYD:]
Aww c'mon, now what the fuck did I do?

[Instrumental:]
Allrounda Beats

[EpicLLOYD:]
What?

[Nice Peter:]
Yo, who the fuck left the tag in?

[NicePeter and EpicLLOYD:]
Errrrr!
*Click*

[EpicLLOYD:]
Thanks!

[Nice Peter:]
Yeah.

[EpicLLOYD:]
Hey, Allrounda can you put the-
Yeah and the little, uh, nice...

[Nice Peter:]
We cool guys?

[ERB Crew:]
Yeah, I guess so
Okay I've got the card
Did you dump it?
Get your mark
Quiet please
Here we go
And...action!

[Nice Peter - simultaneously with EpicLLOYD ]
Yo, I guess what I'm saying, man
Is that I'm running out of patience, man
I'm a patient man, but sometimes
You need to be a patient, man
I got the same shit that I was dealing with at the very beginning!
I'm trying to get somewhere with it, man

[EpicLLOYD - simultaneously with Nice Peter]
I've fought with my wife
And gone under the knife
And I've taken years off of the back of my life
Man, since right in the beginning
We been fighting, No one's winning
People would kill to do what we do for a living

[Nice Peter & EpicLLOYD]
But all your bitching
Is keeping my wheels spinning

[Epilogue - Nice Peter:]
That was weird...

[EpicLLOYD:]
Yup.

[Nice Peter:]
I'm sorry about some of the things that I said.

[EpicLLOYD:]
I'm sorry about the way you played Batman.

[Nice Peter:]
I think I just need a break.

[EpicLLOYD:]
Yeah, me too.

[Nice Peter:]
You wanna write a song?

[EpicLLOYD:]
Yeah dude!