A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder - I Don't Understand the Poor

LORD ADALBERT:
(spoken) I say, you there!
Hands off that sword!

Put down that book!
Isn't enough we let you look?
I hate to dash your futile little hopes
But you pay your sixpence
And stay behind the ropes!

I cringe when every cobbler
Or butcher or farmer
Comes touching my banisters
Banging my armour
They finger every finial
They poke your cornerstone
Who'd want to be reminded
Of what they'll never own?

Though my politics are purely democratical
I find the species frankly problematical

I don't understand the poor
I don't understand the poor
The lives they lead
Of want and need
I should think it would be a bore
It seems to be nothing but stubbornness
Oh, what's all the suffering for?
To be so debased
Is in terrible taste
I don't understand the poor

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
To be so debased
Is in terrible taste
I don't understand the poor
(To summarize and heretofore
He does not understand the poor)

LORD ADALBERT:
I don't understand the poor
And they're constantly turning out more
Every festering slum
In Christendom
Is disgorging its young by the score
I suppose there are some with ambition
Say, the pickpocket, beggar, or whore
From what I can tell
They do quite well
They're rising above
And it's work they love
But I don't understand the poor

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
They're rising above
And it's work they love
But I don't understand the poor

LORD ADALBERT:
Where's the dignity?

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
Where's the dignity?

LORD ADALBERT:
Where's the pride?

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
Where's the pride?

LORD ADALBERT:
The ignominity!

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
Ignominity...?

LORD ADALBERT:
Putting the lame and the halt aside
Why accept charity?
I am perplexed by their attitude
I contend we extend them
Too much latitude
My tenants have no excuse
At Christmas I give them a goose!
Where's the integrity?
Where's the gratitude?
I don't understand the poor
How I long for the days of yore
When nary a vassal
Stepped into your castle
They knew not to darken your door
Now they barge in every Tuesday
With a sickening thickening roar
Why clatter and trample?
Set an example!
We teach them to read
But do they succeed?
When they're hungry and frail
We feed them in jail
We send them off to war
I don't understand-
I'm not being grand!
I don't understand the poor!

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
I don't understand-
I'm not being grand!

LORD ADALBERT & PORTRAITS:
I don't understand the-

LORD ADALBERT:
Though there's one I admit I adore
He's missing a leg
But a very good egg
A gentleman through to the core
He may be a bit of a drinker
He can often be found on the floor
Through all of his pains
He never complains
He's bright and astute
A shame that he's mute
According to mother
He may be my brother
A fact we all choose to ignore

But I don't understand-
I'm sensitive and
I don't understand the poor!

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
I don't understand-
I'm sensitive and
I don't understand-

LORD ADALBERT:
They're a pox on the land!

ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS:
I don't understand!

LORD ADALBERT:
I don't understand

LORD ADALBERT & PORTRAITS:
I don't understand the poor!

LORD ADALBERT:
(spoken) Really, I don't!