Sammy Davis Jr. - You Are Old, Father William

"You are old,
Father William,"
the young man said
"And your hair
has become very white
"And yet you incessantly
stand on your head
"Do you think,
at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth,"
Father William
replied to his son
"I feared
it might injure the brain
"But now that
I'm perfectly sure
I have none
"Why, I do it again
and again"

"You are old,"
said the youth
"As I mentioned before,
and have grown
most uncommonly fat
"Yet you turned
a back-somersault
in at the door
"Pray,
what is the reason
for that?"

"You are old,"
said the youth
"And your jaws are too weak
for anything
tougher than suet
"Yet you finished the goose
with the bones and the beak
"Pray,
how did you manage
to do it?"

"You are old,"
said the youth
"One would hardly suppose
that your eye
was as steady as ever
"Yet you balanced
an eel on the end
of your nose
"What made you
so awfully clever?"

"You have asked me
three questions
Now, that is enough"
Said his father,
"Don't give yourself airs!
"Do you think I can listen
all day to such stuff?
"Be off, boy!
"Or I'll kick you
downstairs
"Or I'll kick you
downstairs
"Or I'll kick you
downstairs
"Or I'll kick you
"Or I'll kick you
downstairs"