Pirates for Sail - The Scotsman

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he drunk more than his share
And on the night when he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring dum diddle diddle I de oh, ring dum diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
“Oh, see that sleeping Scotsman so fine and handsome built
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilts”
Ring dum diddle diddle I de oh, ring dum diddly I oh
“I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilts”

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be
And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And what they beheld before their eyes, beneath his Scottish skirt
Why, nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring dum diddle diddle I de oh, ring dum diddly I oh
Nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said, “I must be gone
Let’s leave a present for our friend, before we move along”
As a gift they left their blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot’s kilt did lift and show
Ring dum diddle diddle I de oh, ring dum diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star the Scot’s kilt did lift and show

The Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards a tree
He lifted up his kilt and he gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, “What’s before me eyes
“O lad I don’t know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!”
Ring dum diddle diddle I de oh, ring dum diddly I oh
“O lad I don’t know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!”

Our Scottish friend, still clad in kilt, continued down the street
He had not gone 10 yards or more when a lass he chanced to meet
She said, “I’ve heard what’s under there, now tell me, is it so?”
He said, “Reach yer hand up, Miss, if ye’d really like to know!”
Ring dum diddle diddle I de oh, ring dum diddly I oh
He said, “Reach yer hand up, Miss, if ye’d really like to know!”

She reached her hand under his kilt, and much to her surprise
A smile came to the Scotsman’s face, and a strange look in his eyes
She said, “Why, sir, that’s gruesome!” And then she heard him roar
“If ye reach yer hand up once again, ye’ll find it’s gruesome more!”
Ring dum diddle diddle I de oh, ring dum diddly I oh
“Reach yer hand up once again, ye’ll find it’s gruesome more!”