Nullingroots - I Don't Want This

After 2 years of what I already thought could be the lowest my life can get, he won’t respond to me.
I reach out, with open arms, but just like prayer, I get no answer.
I know you blame me for your loss, our loss.
I don’t understand why, but I already accept it.
My pain is like a cancer in metastasis, spreading throughout me further with each passing day.
I am a prisoner of my own mind.
My thoughts racing a mile a second.
I am shaken and on the edge.
Constantly anxious and constantly sick.
I am a hollow, vestigial remnant of my former self.
Wallowing in a pool of vomit.
I function on prescribed chemicals, I’m hardly even human.
How can my son even accept me, a drone mentally enslaved by a daily capsule.
Wallowing in misery.
I don’t want this, my life. All I want is you.