Nouns - Ski mask

I'm looking for a reason
one that will keep me here this time
it's this damned season
I pray for harmony here this time

I'm nervous in the season
I've got to show everyone who I am
no one said it would be easy
to be a pseudolamb inside a man

so, shoot me down
I pray for harmony in sight of god
so, shoot me down
I'm forgetting my place again

at best I'm pretentious
tangents in my mind are easier to find
at best I'm not quiet
the best of my words fall short before they lie

you won't understand
at best I'm optimistic
I don't hate this world one bit
I just hate being in it

I just want to be kind
but I'm angry in every way
I am the devil
and the deep blue sea
and I take myself too seriously