Ivy League - Canopy

I held on to hope
I had to learn to let it go
This black cloud's, my canopy.
And who's to say
I won't find comfort in the things that pull me under
A reoccurring dream I'm living in.

While you needed facts, I needed honesty.
I needed something to latch on to
I'm decaying.
This air I'm breathing is new to me
And I can't feel the earth beneath my feet,
I'm loosing touch.

I don't want to be alone,
But I'm afraid that's all I know.
You could never comfort me
And if it matters, I'm still trembling.

I wanted, I needed, peace.
You never gave that to me.
You never gave that to me.

Call off the masses
I'll find a way to fix my own mistakes,
Right in front of you.
And I'll replace it.
I can't carry on, it's sick
You'll show yourself.
There's no living proof.
What else is there to prove?

You need me to exist, but I can't exist from this.
I guess I'm living the present tense,
so please explain the bottom list.