Duet With Myself - Ex Girlfriends Suck

{ Paint: hey baby!
"Brian":arrrhggg...
P: SHUT UP BRIAN!... I wrote this song for you.
B: You cheating, skankafied...
P: Hey, I'm filming here! Anyways, I hope this makes you happy!}

I love your hair, your smile, your clothes
[I love your fat, abnormal large toes]

{P: SHUT UP! You are ruining the video!
B: Stuff over. Yeah, yeah, you remember me?
P: Brian...
B: Yeah. Well, you should, cause you took my heart down and shut it down by my savages
Yeah, you should remember that.. Okey? You cheated on me, with my very own brother over here, yeah, jerk!
P: Let it go, dude, okey? It was like three months ago, I try to film something.
B: Fine... but I'm NOT MOVING. }


I love your hair, your smile, your clothes
[I love your cankles and your elephant nose]
I love your freckles and your eyes
[Don't forget about her thunder thighs]

Girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
[It hurt, she landed on her face]
Girl, I need to put you on my "to do list"
[Or my hit list, whichever really works]
If you were a booger I'd pick you first
[Well I'd lick you first...]

{P: WHAT? That... That is so wrong, that's disgusting!
B: I would lick her. As in, I would punch her in the face! May make you look priettier}

Girl, you're everything I [don't] want
You're everything I [don't] need
Without you I can barely [finally] breath

[You're so fat
You got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of crack
Not even Clinton would sleep with you
When trucks back up they beep like you
And no one wants to be with you
I never want to see you again

You're like the elephant man
It looks like you seriously stopped a van with your face]
Your face is like the sun
[Yep, it burns my retinas!]
You have beautiful puppy dog eyes
[Maybe you should go to the vet?...

You smell like a pig and you look like a fish
If you were a cow I'd put you right on a dish
You're crazy like a monkey you belong in a zoo
If you were a horse I'd turn you right into glue]

Your eyes are like a pond in which the fish of beauty swim
[You have a mustache like my dads, you really need a trim]
All I really wanted to say
Is I love [hate] you....

[I HOPE YOU DIE, YOU STUPID BITCH!]