Xedar - Etherial Presence

I watch the surface of this endless river in which I'm plunged to my waist.
Through its body the world observes the contrasts of her face.
I ban to sip from the water.
It's clear and cold like the celestial part.
I see the reflexion of my upper half from above.
The other half with the hind limbs, the gonads, the buttocks and the split between them doesn't exist anymore;
but does it means I'm less complete now?
Now I have twice my hands, twice the two cerebral hemispheres.
With this atypical structure of mine - two halves meaning more than the whole -
I estrange myself from any breathing creature.
I vanish like rolls of smoke to the sky, but for me there is no more sky.
I'm prepared for the final challenge, which will drive me to the gates of an magnificent citadel.
By then, I'll leave behind past, prich, hopes and pain.