Monty Python - Rudyard Kipling

*Hold it there. Here we go, here we go. Hold there.*
*Hold it there for me baby. Hold it. Hold it.*
*Here we go. Here we go.*

Rudyard, Rudyard Kipling
Why do ya look so sad?
I know it's rather a silly name
But it's really not that bad
Rudyard, Rudyard
(Terrific, terrific, um, jolly ethnic um.)
Realy?
(Yes)

Look at this guy, huh?

Uh Honey?
(He's my brother.)
(Do you like poetry?)

Got to get my hands around some poetry, have I?


Look at the tits on that guy... Hey.

I wish you knew, honey. You wish you knew.
(Oh yes, certainly)

(Jolly nice to have you here.)

Hey come on!
(Oh no, no stopping.)

Rudyard, Rudyard Kipling
Why do wear that frown?
You could have been called Cyril
And your surname could be Brown.

(Ow!)
Rudyard, Rudyard
*Come on let's go to the back of the truck, honey.*
(What? Oh. For a couple of beers?)
*Errrghh.*
/I can't imagine the Jungle Book./
*Come on, back in the Vauxhall, all right.*
/By Ronnie or by Vic./
(Er, no don't have a Vauxhall.)
*A real dude this guy.*
(Yes he's very nice, isn't he?)
/Or Kim, or Paku of Pook's Hill by Cindy Lou./
*Oh yeah.*
(Yes...)
/Or Mick/
*Eh, honey , ever seen one like this?*
/Rudyard, it had to be/
(I beg your pardon?)
/Rudyard, it was/
*Er, I'll be down the shops*
(Would you like some tea afterwards?)
(Some water? (giggle))
/Rudyard, I wish I knew./
*I got this wrapped up specially for you, honney.*
*Got your number on it.*
(Ha ha)
/Did it really make you cross?/
(Yes, o o!)
(I don't think your hand should be there.)
/Rudyard, Rudyard Kipling/
*Come on, honey, hold this...*
(Or perhaps my buttocks shouldn't be there. (giggle))
*Who's that? Who's that guy?*
/Why do wear that frown?/
*Who's this guy?*
(Yes, he's rather lovely, he's from English Folk Dance Centre.)
/You could have been called Cyril/
(He's name is Ted)
*He's a racy guy*
/And your surname could be Brown./
(We've been lovers for years)
/Rudyard, Rudyard/
(No! Ah!)
*Hey come on*