Louisahhh!!! - Ready

I'll work, a prayer, endless night
Yeah, I need a little darkness to get me going
I want it urgent, like a knife, heh
I'm ready, exposed, the shadow, a little deeper
I'm ready to shine, the armor of my own blood
Not sacrifice, it’s not sacrifice

The dialogue of the martyr makes me sick. And now, now, I’ve caught a current, now, I’ll try to tell the truth. Sometimes it tastes like metal, sometimes, it’s grotesque, it’s grotesque.

The gutting is necessary though, flip-flop, gasping open like a fish, allowing, the self-wrestling, allowing everything... drawn, and quartered like a moth to the flame, and being fully, devotion, a distraction, a siren, a false God, a catalyst, a good vein, it wants the sick, the saint, the glutton, the thief, forgive me, the cut, I make, I must, i’ll try to be gentle as... we dance through. Receiving the gifts when they’re wrapped in black velvet, feel heavy and hard, what suffering, what surrender, salvation, fuck salvation, it’s redemption, an exchange of struggles, for assets, and bright points of faith, I’ve got faith, I've got faith in nights.
Wasn’t until i was on my back, struck down myself that I could see the sky filled with bright points of light, for you light, for you light, for you.

Shouting, to the angel, I will not let go until you bless me, and throw me another punch
It was not until the Shadow Work, I started feeling my own darkness long enough to know,
that as ferocious as that is, I’ve got love, I’ve got love on my side, I do. I shall create, another note, a whole, but not an overture, desecration, I know that place, that line of bloom, vacuum so well, rapacious, rapacious, devastating, weakness, we need a fondness for devastation, i’m saying No, good, I can let go of this... and I love it.
But I’m well trained in the shadow’s high better now the destroyer’s more secret encoded
in some polyene bullshit, the creature that wants to be liked but never demands at what
cost. I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry, I will not do it again, I’m so full of it sometimes that I convince even myself, and this is the most grotesque thing to eject the hardest door flung out off foot like, like, instead.

Sitting still and waiting until it creeps into your lap like a cat shouting you up power, I love you too, in a self-seeking way, and what other tools did you have then, and you used them all up, and this is the last to go baby, it’s okay, you didn’t love it anyway, you’re in love anyway, that is rust, you know it, let the tempest God storm up enough courage and love to grind me the truth from my own lips, heh, I’m ready, I said I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready.