Holding Absence - Nomoreroses

If god is just and fair
Why wasn't my heart spared?

I've waited all my life
To see this holy light
You're smothering my eyes
I wanna see it, I wanna feel it
The harder that I pray
The more you make it rain
I'm soaked in all this pain
Forgive me for drowning

Deafen me with your voice
You stuffed me with this void

And If I've done you wrong by not enduring this pain
Well, where were you and all your eternal holy grace

I've been sitting on your front porch
Knocking on your front door
Knocking ‘till my knuckles go red raw
I've been sitting in the ether
Looking for belief, I'm
Lost like a whistle in the wind

I've been kneeling on my bare bones
Speaking with my eyes closed
Keeping both my knuckles pressing my nose
But nothing that I ever do,
Will close this hole inside of me

If you are just and fair,
Why won't you meet me there?

And If I've done you wrong by not enduring this pain
Well, where were you and all your eternal holy grace?

How many tear-stained sonatas must I sing for you to see?
I never believed in you, because you never believed in me