Glass egg - Patterns

I fought myself to take time to feel
To take time to breathe
I'd been counting my teeth
Cut my hands on cold air trying to push it away
I taught myself long ago to harden my shell- let nobody know the things that are mine to keep

And now I've noticed the ways I have folded myself into patterns
And I've forced out the words and I've watched as they burn to keep you warm
If I had better mind, I might share my finds but I'm lost in thought

Brittle and out of focus are the ways I've found to live
Ceremoniously unbound
So distract me if you will
Take off my mind I might let out a part that's sometimes too deep for even me to find
Oh I wish I was more realized

But now I've noticed the ways I have folded myself into patterns
And I've forced out the words and I've watched as they burn to keep you warm
If I had better mind, I might share my finds but I'm lost I'm lost

I'm lost

Could I reason out the way
Discerning decay of the places I've stayed for too long now
It's been too long it's too long now
It's too long
Too long now

And now I've noticed the ways
I have folded myself into
Patterns