Caiatus - Shattered & Broken as I Lived

I no longer believe in tomorrow
The light that I long for retreats
Spending my days in sorrow
My crawling ahead, the darkness deletes
Forward slog through monotony
The days turn ever greyer
Banal as life in lobotomy
Happiness fleeting and rare

I long to have the knowledge of
The reason for which I'm forced to be
Nobody answers from above
Absence and shadow in ubiquity
Words could not ever explain
The guilt I feel grows for all of my days
The voices within all wish me pain
I scream for the light but there are no more rays

There is no hope / For my soul
I grab the rope / And tie it to the pole
I see who I've been / As my eyelids shut,
As my breaths end,
And my thread of life is cut
Brought onto Earth / Against my will
Devoid of worth / No purpose to fulfill
At birth, we scream and thrash our limbs
Dying, I'm silent, stiff, and sanguine

No more time for me to wait
For this life I have pursued
My own end I must create
For this nightmare to conclude
Taut is the rope around my nape
Soon my soul should be free
Into the void I shall escape
Not one more second spent in agony

Memories play before my death
Of one day, what I could be
My body should neither have taken a breath
Nor opened its eyes to see
Who I was crumbles into sand
My hope falls through the sieve
The coarse grains lay in my hands
Shattered and broken as I lived

[Chorus]

I'm not strong enough to continue like this.
My mind is gone and it's never coming back.
I can't eat, sleep, or even live without the most intense self-hatred.
I wish I could have been stronger.
I wish I could have been someone.
But the man you knew is already long gone.
It's been over for years.
This is the only way to make things right.
I beg of you, the universe:
Allow this wretched husk to return to you
And allow this journey of self-loathing..
To conclude...