Brojob - Temper Tantrum

you call yourself a man?
I can leg press like 500 lbs with only one hand
I always flex in front of all my friends
I'm gonna put my legs behind my head
and suck my own dick
because it's masculine
craft beer's for pussies
I only dring busch light
and if you talk shit on kid rock
I'll end your fucking life
I park in the handicap spot
because I don't give a fuck
I used to drive a pickup
but now I drive a monster truck
holy shit
god damn
who needs a gym when I can work out in my muscle car
I'll pick a fight with anyone inside my favourite sports bar
I have tattoos of barbed wire and broken glass
my dad's a cop and I bet he could kick your dad's fucking ass
people wonder why I'm always angry all the time
but if you mention it I'll get defensive at the drop of a dime
I sear to god I've never cried a single time in my life
no, I'm totally serious I;m the manliest type of guy
I only enjoy eating phallic shaped foods
bananas, hot dogs, popsicles and sausages too
I do this because it's manly, not because it's insane
I don't have no time for weaklings, especially if I'm watching the game
I cut the sleeves off of all of the shirts I buy
it helps me show off my muscles to other guys
I like to think that they see me and think I'm tough
but honestly I weep at night because I'm not that buff
I'll never understand why women always put me in the friendzone
I send them unsolicited dick pics from my phone
the truth is I think there's something wrong with me
maybe it's my anger issues
or that I have a tiny peepee