Bo Burnham - My Little Secret

People think I'm tall, you probably do too,
Cause I got a big hat size and a 16 shoe. (and a 16 shoe)
As tall as a tree, but as wide as a twig,
To top it all off, my weener is a...tiny (my weener is tiny)

It doesn't make any sense, its only 2 1/2
Whenever I'm naked even Asians laugh
It'll be like nothing you've ever felt
I'm the only guy who needs a condom belt...(what?)

Please don't be mean, please don't be a jerk
I've tried all those pills trust me they don't work. (trust me they don't work)
If girth was a virtue, I'd end up in hell,
Right now I'm erect, and you can't even tell. (you can't even tell)

I hate myself, why isn't it long?
Did my circumcision go horribly wrong?
When my girlfriend saw it she started to sob,
"I can only give you a finger-job"

I wanna be the stud, now I'm the stooge.
It wouldn't be weird, if my balls weren't so huge. (but my balls are huge)
I guess it would be great if I was hung like a horse,
But I gotta let nature take its course... (nature take its course)

Just kidding I'm huge.