Bill Wurtz - ​I'm Best Friends with my Own Front Door

I'm best friends with my own front door
I just closed it, but it's opening more
Then the cops came, and they sent me to jail
But tomorrow I'm gonna open it again


I'm the postman, and I've got cool clothes
I'm the neighbors, and I'm wearing cool shoes
And I'm dreaming of a brand new world
And I'm hoping that it comes real soon


But I saw a sign
I saw the sign
It's a bad, bad sign
Said "It's not gonna happen
And it's not what it seems
You're not gonna make it
And it's not meant to be"


But fuck them, I just climbed a huge mountain
But everyone told me I couldn't do it
And I feel real nice
'Cause I got lots of money in my bank account


And I walk down the street
People throw things at me
Like breakfast and strength tests
(Oh, this is cool)
How much can I bench press?
(Oh, I'm very strong)
Time to win some awards


I'm gonna do everything that you're not supposed to do
I'm gonna open to page 1 and then skip ahead to page 2
'Cause I'm hungry and scared, and I can't find the truth
So I'm leaving
Oh, there's my balloon


Over the trees, under the bridge and over the town
I'm gonna tell you the things that I'm feeling out loud
And they changed all the rules, then I wrote them all again
That's how the game begins
Oh, that's how I get home again