Annie Stela - Sleeping Porch

On the sleeping porch, you buzzed against the screen
I don't remember fear so much as urgency
The need to get up and go home
Instead of spending the whole night alone

With your shadow stretching across the carpet floor
And your voice echoing from a time before
Across a row of snoring girls
Dipping down and touching all the heads of messy curls
Saying, "Come on and stick it out, this will be worth it, there's a world out here if you could just unearth it."

Oh, there it goes
He'll say my heart is cold, he'll say my soul is closed

And then there's three of us, huddled in corners of our rooms
Beer in brown bottles and parties overcast with gloom
They swallowed me up 'til I drowned
The sweetness was weighing me down
And you hurt but you would soon regret
And I didn't understand yet

Oh, there it goes
He'll say my heart is cold, he'll say my soul is closed

Am I supposed to grow up?
I sweat through nights and swell up, I swell up
And no one here can make their minds up

Oh, there it goes
He'll say my heart is cold, he'll say my soul is closed
Oh, there it goes
He'll never really know,
He will only suppose.