A to histeria! - Pieśń o Tudorach (wersja angielska)

Oh listen, ye all to a tale that's true,
When the War of the Roses tore England in two,
King Richard III one fateful day,
Fought Henry Tudor in a brutal fray.
For poor King Richard life grew worse,
He lost his kingdom for want of a horse.
Henry VII was then made king,
To Elizabeth of York he offered his ring.
She said,
"I do! Let's give it a fling!"
: The union again made England one,
The couple was blessed with a healthy son.
Young Henry grew up in Catherine's home,
When his father passed on he ascended the throne.
Henry VIII took a wife from Spain,
Catherine Aragon was her name.
She bore him a daughter a cute little one,
But to keep the throne he needed a son.
Back then, that's how things were done.
For girls, it really wasn't much fun.
Chorus: Their rocky marriage couldn't get worse,
But the pope refused to grant a divorce.
So Henry started a church of his own,
He got his divorce and stayed on the throne.
Miss Info: Then Henry VIII wed Anne Boleyn,
His former wifey's handmaiden.
Anne gave birth to Elizabeth,
But with no male kin, well you do the math!
Poor Anne Boleyn, she lost her head,
So once again, King Henry wed.
Jane Seymour gave to him a prince,
Charity: But poor ol' Jane hasn't woken up since.
Boys: So for a while, our Henry grieves,
Then he marries Anne of Cleves.
Anne came from fine German stock,
She had a face that could stop a clock.
Their marriage was cancelled in less than a year,
His fifth wife, Catherine Howard, was dear.
But Henry found out that her love was not true,
He gave her the axe, what's a fella to do?
So after five came wife number six, Catherine Parr is who Henry picks,
He promised her he would do her no harm,
So six wives proved to be the charm!

Henry gained pound right after pound,
'Til he needed machinery to move him around.
He weighed about a quarter ton,
'Cause he couldn't resist a sticky bun.
In fifteen-hundred forty-seven,
Henry VII went off to heaven.
Or maybe for his dirty tricks,
To H-E-double hockey sticks!
Chorus: His young son Edward was only ten,
When he took the English throne but then,
Poor Edward died by age fifteen,
His reign was followed by a queen.
Jane Grey ruled for just nine days,
She lost her head, to coin a phrase!
Chorus: Mary Tudor was next in line,
Mary Tudor: The British throne is mine, mine, mine!
Mary had strength, she took no flack,
She brought the Catholic church right back!
At forty-two Mary met her death,
Then along came queen Elizabeth.
She was loved by her people and made England strong,
She had a few boyfriends, they didn't last long.
The Elizabethan age was just and fair,
But Elizabeth never gave birth to an heir.
And so we sing our last refrain,
The end finally came to the Tudor's reign.
Elizabeth died in 1603,
The end of the Tudors' family tree.
The end of the Tudors,
There can be no disputers,
The end of the Tudors' family tree...
Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop!
Timber