Reverend Horton Heat - Sermon on the Jimbo

I have a very dear friend.
And I won? t say who he is, but
he has a bad problem with women. (Oh no!)
I want to tell you that this friend of mine just lusts for those women too much.
This friend of mine, now, I said I won? t say who.
Well just has a hard time with his demonic thoughts of women
& the downright sinful things that he would do with them
if he lost his most important will & promise. (Ha, ha ha, ha? Oh no!)
Huggin? (No!)
Kissin? (No!)
Playin? with the poodle!

Friends, this just upsets this man so much that
He cannot stop thinking those lewd, lustful,
evil thoughts about women? s legs,
Their hips,
Their, their underwear!

I want to tell you fine people this one thing that I tell this friend of mine.
Over, & over, & over again. (I live here.)
I tell him he has a very special friend.
A friend who is there with him,
Day & night, night & day.
A friend who understands his needs,
worries,
Many, many, many frustrations.

Do you know the name of my special friend?

JIMBO!

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

Jimbo will sit with you & watch a nature show. (Oh yeah?)
When you are feeling down, Jimbo will lift you up
& take you for a ride in his pickup. (Yeah, yeah.)
Jimbo will come in your house
carrying a six-pack of good will & joy. (Oh yeah!)

When you have sinned,
He will baptize you in the clear waters of his above ground pool.

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

But when the evil flood waters are a risin?
Don? t think that Jimbo hasn? t been there.
Because when evil makes those eyes stop & stare at those?
Bosoms!
Those thighs!
Those lips!
Those ears!
Those small of the backs!
Those panties!

You know Jimbo? s been there, too!
& no,
Jimbo is there with you now
As those demonic feelings down where the sun don? t shine
Are about to take over.

Can I get a Halleluiah? (Halleluiah!)

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, to our members.
You? ve got a friend in Jimbo.
You? ve got a friend in Jimbo.