Halo of Leprosy - Anticipatory Thinking

My brain gets filled up with temptation
I can no longer control my actions

I wait for her in the back alley
Just when she's in my net,
I rush back to my dungeon
And get her tied
Push her in basement
And take advantage of the helpless victim
I swiftly lay may hands on her throat
She starts squirming trying to free herself

I back away as she starts twitching in agony
How could I do such things I think to myself
She is still there breathing, her condition close to faint
I rush back upstairs from her sight
I've never thought I could be going that deep
The impulses coming from my brain weaken
I take a deep breath and splash in the poison
And the hell images come to me again

Drilling through my sanity in and out
It gets within every spot

The ache reduces as I reach for razor blade
I make an incision and
Splitting pain strikes in my head
I clench my fist making fluid run harder
With my head down
I go back to pictures from long ago
I feel the cold stainless steel in my hand
I rise from my bed and am able to act again