Forbidden Broadway Goes to Rehab - Forbidden Broadway Goes to Rehab 1

JAMES (Spoken)
Hello, My name is James...

OTHERS (Spoken)
Hi James.

JAMES (Spoken)
...and I am a Broadway-holic. It has been 30 days since I saw my last Broadway musical.
(Others clap) Thank you. It all started when my parents took me to the singalong
Sound of Music. Since then it's only gotten worse. I recently joined TDF.
(One of others gasps, music begins)
Ethel, give me the serenity to accept the really good shows,
the courage to make fun of the ones that deserve it, and the wisdom to not just burst into song.

JAMES (Sung)
Forbidden Broadway Goes to Rehab!
We are staging an intervention to put James Barbour through hell.
Forbidden Broadway Goes to Rehab!
Did we mention it's our intention to clean up Liza as well?

(Music stops)

CHRISTINA (Spoken)
Hello, my name is Christina.

OTHERS
Hi Christina.

CHRISTINA
Hi. And I'm a celebrity addict.
(One of others sighs) It has been 24 hours since I stalked Kristin Chenoweth.
(Others clap, a few say "great", one says "really great")

CHRISTINA (Sung)
We'll stop popping pills during Kristen's trills!

JAMES
And we'll ditch our Stritch gin and tonic.

CHRISTINA
Reigning Queen Lupone gave us methadone,

JAMES
Cheyenne gave us a hot colonic.

MICHAEL (Spoken)
Hello, my name is Michael.

OTHERS
Hi Michael.

MICHAEL
And I’m a Sondheimite. (Others gasp and clap)

MICHAEL (Sung)
Forbidden Broadway Goes to Rehab!
We’re addicted to Broadway’s angel dust but we must have our say!

JAMES
And when we’re drunk we just gotta punk all the junk in theatre today!

ALL THREE
Forbidden Broadway knows,

GINA
Forbidden Broadway Goes to Rehab!
My name’s Gina, and I’ve a problem with substance spoofing abuse!

CHRISTINA & GINA
And so we’ll try to get one more high,
Shooting up every play!

ALL
We’ll do 12 steps the Fosse way!

JAMES
Run away!

ALL
Rehab can wait another day!