Angel Haze - Suffering's First

I’m starin’ at the view from the height of my past pain;
Ironic, I’m tryna come in first if it’s the last thing
They tryna throw me off, but I won’t let ‘em pass me
They kill me with the hatin’, but I ain’t in the casket
I gotta stay on top, gotta fuckin’ over come shit
I had to learn to beat it like I just got a drum kit
Now my motto ‘keep faith, stay strong,
be prosperous,
stay positive and fuck anyone that say opposite.’
‘Cause everybody don’t wanna see you win.
In the end, your biggest enemies may be your friend.
Keep losin’ my balance;
that’s the prize of a winner.
So, I’m tryna find god in the eyes of a sinner.
‘Cause me, I’m like the victim through the eyes of a killer;
Gun’s aimed at her worth and the pride that’s within her.
I’m the uprise in the lives of the demise and devastation
The little piece of heaven left in satan, forreal.

So what if it hurts?
The struggle is first.
To live is to die, we all suffer the curse.
And love is the cure until we’re suffering worse.
Pleasure is pain; the suffering’s first.

Pushed ‘em out of my life, my friends say that I changed.
But, how the fuck you make a difference and still stay the same?
They don’t carry the weight; they can’t handle the pressure,
so they can see me evolve, but they can’t capture my essence.
My life is insane, and I don’t get enough credit,
but the picture ain’t realistic like a Photoshop edit.
How could you even be mad that I would wanna enhance that?
Just to have the option, like I hit the ‘advanced’ tab.
So, fuck ‘em all;
they’d rather see me fail.
I hit the mainstream and my ship gon’ sail.
And niggas gon’ hate, and some gon’ applaud me,
but I remain a problem that nobody’s resolvin’.
I got this ache in my soul and it’s distant now,
‘cause I’m hotter than the flames on a Piston now.
I keep losin’ my balance, that’s what trips me out.
I keep my emotions inside ‘til I’m flippin’ out,
but I won’t trip,
I stand tall,
just keep my head,
and hold on.
I said, I won’t trip.
I stand tall.
Just keep my head.
And hold on.

So what if it hurts?
The struggle is first.
To live is to die, we all suffer the curse.
And love is the cure until we’re suffering worse.
Pleasure is pain; the suffering’s first.

Sometimes I feel like I’m bound to be a sell-out,
so I spit fire to try to let this hell out,
to try to let myself out.
This cage I trapped myself in,
but I won’t let myself in.
I feel like if I lose sight of me, I won’t let myself win,
and I won’t let myself end, I be damned if I do.
I enjoy bein’ myself; I be damned if I’m you.
See, I give ‘em what they need and that’s that real shit,
and I do it with my heart so they can feel this.
That’s why the words in my songs reach broken bones,
make ‘em strong, show ‘em they got more to focus on.
And music is the only thing I put my hope in,
use words to capture my mute emotions.
I’m like an umbrella top, how I’m hit with the rain,
but I walk when it hurts like a ligament’s sprain.
And my thoughts like a frame to the picture I paint;
I get high off the green like the top of terrain.
They can’t extinguish the flame from my mouth when I speak,
I got beauty and peace, like a tropical beach.
And I got me some dreams that I won’t stop ‘til I reach,
and Dr. King’s speech in the mouth of a freak

So what if it hurts?
The struggle is first.
To live is to die, we all suffer the curse.
And love is the cure until we’re suffering worse.
Pleasure is pain; the suffering’s first.